A big THANK YOU to everyone

John Pienaar: "I was born to be MC"

Musicians ‘get’ him.

Women appreciate his sense of humour.

He has been known to be very good-looking.

When he’s not dressing up like a norsk maiden and getting rescued by fat men in red spandex, or downloading the internet, John can be found dispensing profound awesomeness and prophecies in the greater kloof area.

No one knows what would happen if he ever met Ralph Fiennes.

Ceremony theme confirmed

http://www.warriorbrideinternational.org/

This guy once got drunk and hugged a statue of a lady.

Still, he's the best man.
Consistently and for no apparent reason appearing as though he's just been captured on CCTV, Tim has turned down numerous job opportunities; notably at Tom Ford; No Fear; The Salvation Army (swimwear division); and Boy Gigolo in Roman Polanski's 'Red Riding Dude.'
Facebook friends with Julian Assange, Tim has dedicated the majority of earth life to spreading the truth about caramello bears, love, philosophy, chalk, and Foschini's.
Music cannot contain him. Life cannot debate him.
The best part? He smells like freshly shaved pencil crayons in an empty classroom after school.

Grooms ring designed by Jeff Clements

Unfortunately unable to make the wedding, Jeff has kindly designed the groom's wedding band. In his own words:

Created uniquely for Dean. This is almost as much Dean’s ring as it is Ash’s.
It symbolizes their relationship and individuality. It’s a unique representation of two amazing people.
It has a raw, organic shape with a black ebony centre piece. The design is specific to Dean and Ash.
Dean ‘n Ash. D n A. Using the concept of DNA and how it is intertwined, like lovers, this design element was used inside the ring by including the DnA inscription in each strand  it signifies the bond between these two soul mates. The design is subtle, and special – only they know it is there.
It’s unlike anything you would find on the shelf in a mainstream jewellery store.
This ring would not be suitable for anyone else in the world other than Dean.

Introducing... THE BRIDESMAIDS!

Three little maids from school are we

Pert as a school-girl well can be

Filled to the brim with girlish glee

Three little maids from school

At least part of the above is true. We all went to different schools together. And they are about the pertest girls I’ve ever seen. Katherine is so pert that on a cold day, she could take your eye out from a distance of 2 metres.

Katherine Davidson

 

Since released from prison, Katherine has made a concerted effort to join society as a productive citizen. In her role as Maid of Honour, Kath has taken her job very seriously even to the point of applying for UIF.

A world-travelled performer, Katherine once played the role of the Virgin in the Musical “Cats”. Evidently, she’s not a method actor.

Kath likes unicorns, sushi and beer and has been known to laugh so violently that froth emanates from her nostrils. Her parents are very proud.

Bianca Bernstein

Bianca, aka Beesus, oozes talent like fresh operation scars in a hot bath. She has her own blog, which is much better than this one: http://shoelacecheese.wordpress.com/

Bianca hates it when people use their Blackberries on the toilet, is prone to misusing the boxes of the homeless (a definite “in-house” joke, that one) and loves Casio calculator watches, skinny jeans and things that go “Meep”.

Beesus currently resides in Dubai where she is investigating the possibilities of trade-marking a “Skinny Burka” but is making a special guest performance down the aisle for this event.

Karen Vermeulen

Apart from the appearance of a 5 o’clock shadow after a long day of telling-people-what-to-do, you would never tell that Karen used to be Karl. And to talk to her, you wouldn’t know that she has a wooden leg.

Special K, as she is known (until now, only by me), has 2 children, which is an amazing feat when you consider the size of her.  To the naked eye, she is visible only when viewed front-on.

Karen likes stilettos, swanning about her office with glasses of champagne and the taste of a man’s tonsils (well, one particular man anyway). We hope she can make it up the aisle without getting knocked up again.

 

Sources confirm Daniel Bernberg to land role of 'Minister' in Jackson-Barnes wedding

Daniel Bernberg, the phenomenon who puts the 'gym' into 'clergymen' (as well as the 'lergy') is touted to play the role as 'Minister' in the upcoming Jackson-Barnes wedding, sources confirm. His previous roles include Stunt Cod Piece in 'Ninja Assassin', and 'that guy on the peer in the background with a confused look on his face' 33 minutes into 'Must Love Dogs'. Probably best know however as the voice of 'Hagar the Horrible' in the 1992 animated Scandinavian adaptation animated children's TV series, Daniel, who has recently been involved in high intensity training with the Royal Shakespearean Company in Mumbai, was quoted as saying: 'Bacon becomes me."