Introducing... THE BRIDESMAIDS!

Three little maids from school are we

Pert as a school-girl well can be

Filled to the brim with girlish glee

Three little maids from school

At least part of the above is true. We all went to different schools together. And they are about the pertest girls I’ve ever seen. Katherine is so pert that on a cold day, she could take your eye out from a distance of 2 metres.

Katherine Davidson

 

Since released from prison, Katherine has made a concerted effort to join society as a productive citizen. In her role as Maid of Honour, Kath has taken her job very seriously even to the point of applying for UIF.

A world-travelled performer, Katherine once played the role of the Virgin in the Musical “Cats”. Evidently, she’s not a method actor.

Kath likes unicorns, sushi and beer and has been known to laugh so violently that froth emanates from her nostrils. Her parents are very proud.

Bianca Bernstein

Bianca, aka Beesus, oozes talent like fresh operation scars in a hot bath. She has her own blog, which is much better than this one: http://shoelacecheese.wordpress.com/

Bianca hates it when people use their Blackberries on the toilet, is prone to misusing the boxes of the homeless (a definite “in-house” joke, that one) and loves Casio calculator watches, skinny jeans and things that go “Meep”.

Beesus currently resides in Dubai where she is investigating the possibilities of trade-marking a “Skinny Burka” but is making a special guest performance down the aisle for this event.

Karen Vermeulen

Apart from the appearance of a 5 o’clock shadow after a long day of telling-people-what-to-do, you would never tell that Karen used to be Karl. And to talk to her, you wouldn’t know that she has a wooden leg.

Special K, as she is known (until now, only by me), has 2 children, which is an amazing feat when you consider the size of her.  To the naked eye, she is visible only when viewed front-on.

Karen likes stilettos, swanning about her office with glasses of champagne and the taste of a man’s tonsils (well, one particular man anyway). We hope she can make it up the aisle without getting knocked up again.